Day 6

Day 6

Irrelevance.

I think that's my issue.

Like if I don't get a job in my field, that piece of paper I worked hard for is irrelevant.

Like if I do get a job in my field, I'll postpone other plans as if they're irrelevant.

Will I save the world or explore it?

Will I work for money or for self-satisfaction?


I observe the world around me and know that I can't be the only one with these fears.

Maybe that's what makes all of those social networking sites tick...capitalizing on the fear of irrelevance. We went from writing in diaries and journals to livejournal and xanga to myspace, facebook, and twitter. Went from writing bold and honest statements without abandon in secrecy to needing to carefully express our feelings in one hundred and fifty characters, making them sound as witty, emotional, or comedic as possible to speak to the masses.

Yet in doing so, how many of us truly make an impact? Five seconds after a post, when something wittier, more emotional, or comedic comes along, what you had to say was irrelevant.

So, I've decided to change my outlook on what makes me relevant. Instead of thinking about everyone else, I'll focus my attention on things and people I believe make my life anything but irrelevant and move one step at a time.

Word of the Day
Relevant

Day 5

Day 5


A computer-free day for a computer enthusiast. How'd I survive?

With flying colors.

Without my computer in front of me, I was able to focus on each activity more than I have in a while. I realized that I attempt to multitask too often, and that in doing so, I have a hard time concentrating on any one thing.

So, I'm going to take the time to enjoy life one thing at a time.


Words of the Day
Thankful, Free, Thoughtful

Day 4

Towards the end of day 3, I was on the phone with a good friend and I unplugged my computer from the wall. When I did so, only part of my three prong charger came out.

Considering I have two chargers for my laptop, I thought, well hey, at least I have the other one to charge my computer. But then I stumbled upon a problem: where IS that other charger? Yep, I left it back at my parent's house 120 miles away.

My computer is like my child. So, soon, my child is going to hibernate until my new charger comes in the mail.

Usually, I would freak out, and I do feel a little tension bubbling up, but, I'm going to let it go. I figure this is another mini trial, a road block to something great.

I'm going to take the time my computer is inoperable to do other things. Cleaning, reading, and learning about others will be on my task list.

Words of the Day
Annoyed, Hopeful, Anxious

Day 3

Wow, God is moving already.

After I submitted my last blog entry, one of my friends from school contacted me asking me about how work was going. I told them honestly that I hadn't worked much because of my situation with my car.

My friend asked me the cost for the repair of the car. I didn't know, but promised to check soon.
Later on, my friend asked me again. I still didn't know and promised to find out soon.
Finally, my friend told me that they are willing to pay for my car repair.

I couldn't believe it!

Now, I'm anticipating the day I can drop the car off to the repair shop to get an estimate and figure out what exactly is going on with it.

Then, today, I had the opportunity to do what I love: teach.

It was glorious and I felt overjoyed doing what I feel God intended for me to do.

If God is moving mountains in day 3, what will he do by day 15? 25?

Words of the Day
Hopeful, Thankful, Blessed, Highly Favored, Victorious, Inspired

Day 2

Day 2.

I'm doing my best to make each moment of this fast valuable. I've learned more about the world and my friends.

I'm in a place right now that is very interesting financially.

Here's my scenario:
-I have a car that probably wouldn't safely transport me from a point A to a point B.
-Because of the car, I have limited access to get to work.
-Because I can't get to work, I can't make money.
-Because I can't make money, I'm wondering how I'll pay my bills.

Here's how this USUALLY would make me feel:
-Upset
-Hopeless
-Stressed
-Depressed
-Angry
-Confused

Here's how I actually feel:
-Hopeful
-Curious
-Excited
-Prepared
-Loved
-Confident

In this time, I'm really allowing God to take control in a really big way because honestly, I have no other choice. There is nothing that I can do aside from God to change my situation right now. I'm just trusting him to show me things I never thought could happen.

I talked to my mother yesterday and she sounded defeated and she kept telling me how disappointed she was.

The strength this fast has already given me has allowed me to bring a positive lift to the situation.

I'm allowing myself to be humbled in a very big way. I believe that I will relinquish some pride in this process.

This will be a time of mighty change.

So I thank God for what has yet to pass. I thank him for who he is and what he does.

I thank him for the people he's put in my life.

I thank him for every trial and tribulation he's allowed me to overcome.

I thank him for every trial and tribulation that he's allowed me to help others overcome.

I feel strong.

40 Days of Focus Day 1

As a protestant Christian, for the first time ever, I'm participating in lent.
I'm a very focused eater and do not eat any form of meat or animal biproducts. I'm eliminating much of my sugar intake from my diet, but I decided that long before lent.

I don't have many addictions because I try to sustain a balanced life, but I know there is time I spend doing worthless things that I could spend doing things to better myself. Much of that time is spent on facebook.

So, for the duration of lent, instead of going on facebook for any reason at all, I'm going to learn to do other things like read the bible again or the Qur'an. I can learn more about nutrition and exercise. I can learn a new instrument.

I can already tell this will be a fruitful time. Recently, my family has been struggling with finances and transportation. My parents gave me their only working car to student teach and now to work. However, $1300 and six months later, the car needs more work and I'm out of cash.

Mom was expecting a hefty refund from the IRS and we had budgeted the money out to buy new cars and deal with other bills. Then, when the check was finally supposed to come, it was seized for my father's student loan payments, leaving me once again seemingly hopeless.

But I refuse to give up hope, I'm taking these forty days to really lean on God and trust his power. I'm excited to see what will come from it and how it will help other people.

I know these 40 days won't be easy, but I need this challenge to see what I need to see and do what I need to do.

• I think everyday, I'll post words that express how I'm feeling during my fast.

Today's words:
Hopeful, Anticipating, Relief, Open